Yesterday, I saw a funny photo of two women carrying placards. One says – ‘stop celebrating Father’s Day’ and the other reads, ‘fathers don’t deserve to be celebrated.’ I could not help but laugh but I am sure they were not making jokes.
I had a very good laugh when I spoke with my elder brother earlier today. He was like, ‘haba, when it’s Father’s Day, everywhere will be quiet, but when it’s Mother’s Day or Day of the Girl Child, everywhere will be bubbling.’
International Men’s Day is November 19 and somehow, it coincides with World Toilet Day. The day we could have celebrated our men jeje, advocacy for toilet and ensuring open defecation free world takes the shine off our dudes. (I know it was not intended though).
There is heavy spotlight on women and girls, and for obvious reasons, we understand why it’s important. Gender equity is a critical issue that deserve all the attention, but gradually, we are focusing less on the men.
Many children today are being raised in homes where the mother is the one keeping the family afloat. The children see the mother go through struggles to ensure the family survive. Most of the time, ladies raised from such home make up their minds to stay single than have the experiences of their mom. And on most occasion, guys raised from such background go to the extreme to prove a point that they are not weak men and unconsciously slide into the slippery slope of chauvinism.
As the tree continues to branch out, we see most of the men becoming perpetrators of gender-based violence just to prove that they are strong.
Often times, girls raised in abusive homes make a decision to stay single. Sometimes, boys raised by single parent tend to not leave moms apron strings even after they become men and the girls may not find the model of a home to pattern after and the vicious circle continues.
People have been legitimately hurt by the other gender – in most cases, the women happen to be the victim, hence the strong advocacy for women and girls. We can break the circle by empowering the boys to become men of character and integrity. There is just something about children who are raised by active parents.
If boys will be taught again that there is dignity in labour, they will probably grow into hardworking men who will not allow their wives to bear all the burden of providing for the family, even if she earns more than him.
If boys are taught again that integrity and honesty is king, they will probably know that raping a girl does not earn them a point, rather it reduces them to level below an animal.
If boys are taught again that it’s not strength to raise their hand on a woman, maybe domestic violence might become a thing of the past.
Just maybe if boys are taught the power of focus again and why they should debug a task until they find a solution, maybe they will learn not to be quitters and build resilience that will help them to keep a home and make things work even when the going gets tough.
If boys are trained as princes, they will raise kings and queens.
Fathers provide stability and identity. They give us patterns to follow and take us further in life. They are rock solid shoulders that we can ride to higher places of life. Their voices shape our character and they are the fulcrum that define our balance.
I strongly believe that to close the gender gap, we need to amplify the role of the father in the family more and not downplay it at all.
Spotlighting the training and involvement of men and boys in gender advocacy is very necessary.
#Heforshe is way to go!
Happy Father’s Day to every dad in the world! We need you more than ever!
Very apt, Ryta!
Honestly, Nigerian society has a lot of work to do when raising boys. We focus more on raising girls than boys, and these boys grow into men with attitudes that are socially unacceptable. We can do better as people, starting from the family unit.
Happy Father’s Day to every RESPONSIBLE father out there.
Great piece, the world is trying to shortchange the importance of father’s. There will be a better 🌍 if we can follow the instructions in the bible as regards to family
Smiling, that’ ‘World Toilet Day’ got me. Men are very important and celebrating them should be balanced. Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful write ma.
Weldone.
Oir men deserve to be celebrated more and more