There are few things as satisfying as driving home your argument and proving your points even in everyday conversations. The pleasure sucked from thoroughly draining your well of reasoning in proving your point is like winning a trophy from a world’s tournament after a fierce competition.

Growing up, most of us cannot count the number of times our parents and wards drummed into our ears that we must be the champion in class (Which is absolutely good).

Winning was therefore configured as default setting in our minds especially as we got rewards for maintaining the top positions in class.

As we grow into adulthood, the default to win rolls over to the tongue and body language. This configuration pans out in different shades depending on the personality and level of exposure of the individual. It could manifest as being an excessive control freak, being bossy, having exaggerated ego, and for the really logical folks, it manifests as winning over every argument.

It’s time to Update!

Our basic definition of “winning” was good at a time but we need to be update it!

I have come to realize that to truly win over the other person means to lose to the other person.  

I learnt that to conquer means to stoop. I learnt that the pleasure of the trophy is not to carry it alone but to share it or better still, let the other person carry it.

That is not to deny that gnawing to thoroughly organize, carefully polish and meticulously articulate your points when you feel right in a situation till the other person is won over but to yield especially when it comes to the family setting.

As we keep updating our definition of “winning”, let’s keep in mind that the philosophy of win-win is false in marital context. If you win alone, you lose everyone else.