Recently, I saw a copy of one of Nigeria’s bank that reads; “Why shouldn’t the world revolve around you?” and I thought to myself, ‘that may be true for those still in the crib as it is the only place where the world truly revolves around anyone’.
The crib is about the coziest place to be in.
The warmth, attention, love, care, tenderness, delicate handling, bed time stories and lullaby are just too sweet to climb out from. One fact about the crib is that from cradle, everyone was placed in it as a matter of necessity but climbing out must be a matter of intention.
Let’s talk about life in the crib and why it is so addictive.
1. In the crib, the world revolves around you.
Who wouldn’t want to be at the centre stage at all time? Just like the bank copy, in the crib the world revolves around the child. As a matter of fact, a child, an infant in this context, literarily controls the time of his mother or care giver because he/she is at her centre stage. She can only sleep when the child deems fit. When the child needs anything, he simply summons his care giver with a blare and within a twinkle of an eye, his needs are met whenever, wherever and however.
2. Entitlement Mindset.
In crib, the only mindset that rules is the entitlement mentality. A child do not give a hoot at how you feel or what you are doing, when he is hungry, he is hungry and whatever you are doing will have to wait till he has eaten to his satisfaction. When he smiles at you and you probably did not notice and did not return the smile, you may be in for it because that smile may just turn to cry for your lack of attention.
When a child wants to be held and cuddled, he does not care whether you are also in the mood, so long as he is up for it, that is all that matters. (*the beauty of being a child though*).
3. Self centred.
The aura that exudes from the crib smells self-centeredness (*a very innocent one*). A child is oblivious of the need of anyone else. “So long as the milk is flowing, my diapers are changed and I am comfortable, the world can go on” is the babble in the crib.
4. Irresponsibility.
Childlike irresponsibility is what typifies the crib. It can be an amazing sight watching a child be a child. All a child knows to do is eat, sleep, cry and play. A male child in particular can bath you and even dilute your soup with his urine if not on diaper. He can urinate and poop in your hand at will and smile at you in content when done. (*smiles*).
5. Emotionally Ruled.
The Central Control Button in the crib is emotion. A child gets cranky when he has a need. Sometimes you wonder if it is the same child that was howling minutes before that is now beaming from ear to ear after a good round of breastfeeding. A child only laughs and smiles when everything is rosy and favourable. You cannot have a better picture of satisfaction than watch a child who just finished eating.
He simply throws his head backwards, smile generously at you and dose off in your arms with an air of confidence that whispers, “all is well”.
Unfortunately, a lot of adults are still in the crib though not a physical one. Unlike children who display their demands, irresponsibility, self-centeredness, emotions, entitlements without shame or fear, adults have learnt to shrewd theirs and display in more sophisticated manner like emotional blackmail.
Climbing out of the crib means stepping out to a harsher atmosphere where nobody has the time to coo you or sing sweet lullaby to your ears and call you sweet names before you can be rocked to sleep. Climbing out means getting weaned from the sweet breast milk which can translate to growing up to fend for yourself and stop depending on mum and dad for money for upkeep… it means putting others first knowing that it is more blessed to give than to receive. It means not pouting or whining when things do not go your way remembering that there is not just one way to everything. Climbing out means putting on your reasoning cap and turning off the emotional button.
From observation, a typical mother enjoys watching her little one in the crib. She drinks in the sensation with so much relish. That is why she will still welcome you home with a broad smile even at age 30 still living under her roof and smile at you while eating on her dining table and complaining to her that Nigeria is not favourable to ‘young’ start-ups and that the labour market is unfriendly (*no sarcasm meant*).
Being placed in the crib is a matter of necessity but climbing must be intentional because there are still 50 years olds in the crib. (*smiles*).